After much thoughts, I dont know if this is true or not. It is just my piece of opinions and I want to voice them out here. Its been on me since I started school in SHATEC.
I dont know why but I always have this feeling that people in my school, or rather some of them in the school or even in class cannot be trusted. Referring to one of my friends blog, it says that they are "labelled" with some brands such as fakers, pretenders and so on. Somehow or rather, I strongly agree to this point.
Whenever I'm in class, I feel no sense of belonging, security and a strong sense of betrayal. Not because of certain things that happened in the past till now, but I just feel that way. When people try to come near to you, be close to you, I have a feeling that the person has a motive. Or if the person goes to someone else and they become pretty good friends, they want something from that person, make use of, take advantage of. (Please do not take "that" kind of advantage as one of the factors.) It is all just so fake, it's like going into a world where you see so many changes, people move around and not staying in a group as best friends for years. There are some who cant find their real cliques and try to adapt to another. So hard that they satisfy the other group and do things together.
Sometimes going to school is like watching a performance. Seeing people put on different masks and start acting. You have to see their moodswings to do things. If they are unhappy because of what you have done, they just totally ignore you and think that whatever you are doing is shit and make you the piece of dung that day. And after that when they need you for something, they will try to be nice to you first, get you to help them and after that when they dont need your help anymore, you see another mask being put up. They give you a cold shoulder, they scold you with/without vulgarities, insult you and so on. They take your help for granted. Even when you try to help them, make things easier for them, they find you a hindrance, a nuisance. I wonder why. If someone were to help make things easier for me, I will thank them a million times and even that "Thank-you" is not even enough. I appreciate when people help me, well, some others just dont.
When you give ideas, suggestions, they will think that what you gave are what childish people think and do. They will not take your ideas into consideration. Well, like I've said fakers. They take your ideas and then slowly try to dump them after influencing you. Sometimes, they will shout at you when you are nice to them without even knowing what you have done.
Well, jokes are jokes. Sometimes the jokes may go a little too far that might have hurt you but if you are someone who is generous, has an open-heart or not petty, you will never take that kind of joke seriously. They will just remember them and then take it on you one day as revenge. They always have a say while you just dont. You stand nowhere at that moment.
We live for ourselves. We dont depend on others to work or study or play. Yes, we depend on family when we are at home and friends when we are outside. I depend on my family for almost everything. My friends are my third priority. But are friends the ones you can really depend on?
