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people asked me why i havent been blogging for the past, lets say one month. and the answer or rather excuse i always give is either im too lazy to do so or theres really nothing to blog about. honestly, i feel that its pointless blogging now because nobody actually reads the entries, all the things in here are so dry and boring that will bring people to sleep and also i dont really have the mood to. haiya the passion for blogging has actually washed into the sea and sink like titanic already lah.

seriously i will consider closing down this place forever. i used to make use of it to vent my anger and frustration, criticising and insulting anyone im not happy with and sharing some part of happiness and sadness in my life. and i guess the past one year and ten months, you have seen what ive achieved and what ive not. sometimes i cant believe i can have a journal for such a long time because i remember when i was young, i had a little journal which lasted for only a few days and i closed up the booklet and never open again. actually its not that i didnt open up, i even read them and found them so amusing. all those lame crap written inside showed how naive i was. alright, i admit i am still. happy?

my life is not as relaxing as compared to previous years. i envy people who can go out every weekends for shopping, hanging out with their friends, watch a movie and having a good meal somewhere. i can hardly do these ever since attachment ended and school started. its like i have no friends, which i believe so, and i really lack of social life. im lazy, im anti-social, im very picky, im very easily-irriated, im very.... haiya all the negative points lah.

but still, i prefer spending more time with my family. just last week we went to malaysia for a short shopping trip and yah, some sort of family day. and most importantly, i dont need to pay for food and other expenses. haha.

anyways, just yesterday it was the 100th day of my grandmother's death (dated back 12 jan 06). i didnt really go and count the number of days exactly because i was told by my mom about it. sadly, i couldnt go and pay a visit due to school. as i was on my way home today, i was thinking of my grandmother. i mean every now and then, i will think of her and feel remorseful for not getting to really have a chat with her. the problem was that i couldnt really speak hokkien and she doesnt really understand mandarin, so theres quite a communication breakdown. and all i could do was to listen to what she say and try to answer to her questions or just simply nod or shake my head. everytime we go to her house, she will ask us to take a drink from the fridge. can you believe it? shes such a fantastic grandmother who will ask you to have cold drinks. i bet not all grandmothers will allow her grandchildren to have cold drinks.

how wonderful if our loved ones can be with us forever but thats never going to happen. if thats the case, the whole world will be over-populated and we have to reclaim all the oceans and seas in order to build more homes for people to stay. anyways, i didnt go to the click five showcase at zouk on wednesday because i was very tired and its very inconvenient to get there and the back home. sigh, if i were there, i would be able to see them plus jamie yeo and shan wee.

i think i better logoff now. want to make use of this long-awaited weekend by sleeping and rejuvenating myself. going to the food and hotel asia at expo next tuesday with school. im loving it lah because its so easy for me to get home. haha.

Dearest Grandma,

This section is dedicated for you because you have been the most wonderful person and you are the one I respect most in my life. And we all know deep down in our hearts that you love all of us even when you have already left us. I hope that you will look upon us from heaven and take care of yourself on the other side of the world.

You will always be remembered by all of us in our hearts. =)

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